Life Is What Happens While You're Busy Making Other Plans

I had planned a really positive post about my newfound desire to start running again. I was going to post it after my appointment with my personal trainer. This also means it was a weigh-in today and I felt confident about it. I had been very good with my eating (although I'm starting to question my definition of "good"). I had skipped the gym on Monday because we had the first snow storm of the season, and as usual, monstrous traffic ensued. I figured my eating would compensate, plus the little shovelling I had to do, I thought all was good.
I even committed to a new non-weight related goal: I want to run a 10K in the spring. And I plan on training for that separately from my regular sessions, as an extra (easy to manage now that I only have to run a mile or so, we'll see how it goes when the distances build up). So all was good. I even skillfully managed an office social-gathering tonight at the restaurant with a 560 cals entrée (when every thing else on the menu was 800 cals and up, that's good) and only one glass of wine. Granted, this is half my calories for a day, but since I was going to the gym, and my others meals had been reasonable, I feel good about it.
Then, I got to my appointment and got on the scale. For the first time since I started my journey, I saw a gain when I expected a loss. I was SO frustrated by it! That 0.8 pounds. I know it shouldn't have bothered me that much. I know 0.8 pounds is not much and probably isn't really a gain. But still, it's not a LOSS! And my friend's wedding is this Saturday and I'm not under 200 lbs. It was the only timed goal I had. Be under 200 before the wedding.
So tonight, I am not happy and that meant one mean session on the elliptical. So I guess it all turns out in the end. I have to remind myself that this is not a race, there is no finish line and that it doesn't really matter what weight I am at any given specific time, as long as I make healthy choices. It will eventually pay off, when I look at the big picture.

Just Because I'm Losing, Doesn't Mean I'm Lost

So I've been on this journey for almost two months now and I don't feel the difference. I know the numbers on the scale are going down, but after losing almost twenty pounds, I hoped it would show a little more on my body. I mean, I still wear the same size clothes (maybe more comfortably than I used to but still) and except from the comment my mother gave me a few weeks back, I haven't received any.
Don't get me wrong, I'm still thrilled about my improved fitness level (who would've thought, two months ago that I would be jogging three times a week! I hated jogging!) and when I pay attention, there are a few indications that my body is changing. At work, they ordered the wrong size for my labcoat when I was hired (a M instead of L). The buttons could barely close around my breast and now, it's still snug, but there's not that pulling that shows my shirt underneath. I was almost never wearing a skirt I loved because it would cut into my stomach when sitting down. I put it on Thursday and at the end of the day, I realized I was very comfortable in it. But my everyday jeans do not fall off my hips. After twenty pounds, I was really hoping to have dropped a size already. It's a bummer.

Stick With the Plan

Well, this week-end was a small disaster, diet-wise. First, Saturday started off good enough. I was playing the semi-finals in rugby so I had a good breakfast. Things got awry after the match. I had not planned for a post-game snack and since the game was out of town, by the time I got home it was dinner time and I had not eaten much (a banana and three or four carrot sticks) so I was starving. I went straight for the A&W by the house on wolfed down a crispy chicken burger and onion rings. Calorie-budget wise, I was still within limits because I hadn’t eaten much else all day and since I had played 80 minutes of rugby. Not very healthy, I grant you that.

Then, on Sunday, I was spending the day with my parents. And you know, I don’t really want to tell the people around me that I’m trying actively to shed the pounds. I don’t really know why. I think it has something to do with my fear of failing in front of other people. And I feel like telling people I want to loose weight is like telling them I don’t like who I am. This is not false but not something I want to advertise. I want to convey the image of a strong and confidant woman and being desperate to loose weight is not in accordance with that. So any way, on Sunday, I ate way more than I should have. Restaurant for lunch AND dinner. Plus an ice cream cone in the afternoon and I couldn’t squeeze in any exercise since we were spending most of the day with my grandma and she’s not as mobile as she used to be. So I ended up at 1,700 calories. Bad, I know but today is Monday, and I’m getting back on track! I have to have a plan, and stick to it!

Oh, and my mom noticed I had lost weight so that’s nice, it means it’s starting to show a little (I don’t see it, but hey, if others do, I won’t complain!)

Inspired

Another weight-loss blog. I'm getting to realise that I need the pressure/encouragement of other people to get to my target. Like most, I've started, and stopped a bunch of times to try and shed off the pounds. I've realised today that I'm regular at something when I feel a social obligation to it. Like rugby practice or orchestra practice. So if people read this, you'll be my social obligation! (Sorry about possible weird phrase construction, or poor grammar, my first language is French, being from Montreal!) So here it starts! Beginning stats: Current weight: 236 lbs Height: 5'3" Clothing size: 18 (20) Bra size: 44DD (urgh)

Here are the dreaded before shots. I took them on July 28th 2010, before my first run, as close as it gets!

Makes me realize I have to clean that mirror!