There's A Stone In My Shoe

Allright. Let's be honest here. The reason I haven't been posting anything of value here is because I have not been doing so well with the plan.
Sure, I went to the gym. I ate some candy over Halloween, but not an insane amount. I have been mostly following the "plan". But I did it half-heartedly. I did not want to do any of it. I wanted to stay home, eat restaurant food, not cook. And I did some of that. I ate at restaurants more than I should have. I struggled to stay under the calorie count.
The worst part of it is I did not care much. I have not really gained. I'm still at 210, for the fourth week in a row and I did not really care. This week, for the first time since July, the efforts, the sacrifices did not appear to be worth it.
That is until tonight. I had my first real session with my private trainer. And it felt GOOD. I felt I could have given a little more but as usual with people that don't really know me, J did not think I could sustain a higher pace. That's allright, more room for improvement in the next sessions. Tonight, I'm really glad I signed up for private sessions. I think if I had been left on my own, my drive would have slowly died down, as it has in the past. I would have dropped to going to the gym twice a week, then once, then none at all. I know the drill, I've been down that road many times before. This time, I realize I need outside help to get over the downs one is bound to have. I am willing to admit I cannot do everything alone, which is a big step for me.