Friday, I'm heading off to Hong Kong, then Beijing, for my vacation. By myself. I may be totally petrified to be going to China by myself because of the language, the different culture and all that but there is also another reason I am worried: how will I work out? Sure, I think I'll be doing a lot of walking around, but it's hard to estimate if public transport is going to be a must. In fact, in the past months, I've learned that planning is key. Planning my meals and my work out schedule is the only way for me to avoid the pitfalls I used to fall into. When I don't plan (for example, this weekend), it's a sure way to fall off the wagon.
I don't see how I can plan my meals. Heck, if I can understand the menus and know what I'll be eating, it's going to be a small victory (I should say I tend to be a picky eater). I actually considered bringing food along but it won't clear customs.
I've never been this stressed out about a holiday! How ironic.

Do you guys have any tips on staying on track during a holiday?

But I Held My Breath And Kicked My Feet

 I used to love swimming but I had stopped for many years for many reasons. Lately, it was mostly because I did not feel comfortable being seen in a bathing suit but I had been considering adding swimming to my activities because I could remember how much I liked it.
At first, I had trouble finding a suitable time and place. There are a couple of indoor pools in my neighbourhood but the opening hours are not all that convenient (in between the kid's group lessons, aquajogging and the like). I finally finished early enough at work to get to the pool for a 45 minutes swim. If I counted right, I swam 1K almost without stopping (I had to wait for other swimmers and adjust my goggles a couple of times). I even finished with a lap of egg beater! Yeah me!

The only problem is had forgotten that the chlorine in the water makes me sneeze four hours afterwards so now I feel like I have a cold. I think it should get better if I keep going to the pool regularly. I should, I loved it, it is strangely soothing, only thinking about your strokes, your breathing. I wonder if I pushed myself enough because it felt so great, not like when I run and it is sooo hard!

And on a side note, I was a little worried when I came in. I saw a sign on the women's changing room saying that the bathing suit was mandatory. Hum. Why is it necessary to remind people to be clothed in a public place?

Lately, I feel like I've been doing just the bare minimum to keep me afloat in my health resolutions. I didn't really count calories this week-end (and ate out both Saturday and Sunday nights). I should be running at least 25 minutes straight but I had to walk for a couple of minutes both Saturday and today. My calves just turned into cement after 15 minutes or so.
I probably should focus on the positive: I had no desire to eat right, nor exercise. I felt like walking to my car was exercise enough. Yet, I made myself go for a short run on Saturday, and the same today. I had been telling myself I would go for a swim, but since the pool is only open from 8 to 10 pm on Mondays, I knew I'd chicken out (season premiere of House! let's face it, I'm not going to be able to wait). So even though I certainly did not push myself, at least, I didn't stay on the couch. Which is more effort I'd have put a couple of months ago, so I guess I should beat myself up over this. I just don't want to congratulate myself when I know, deep down, that I could have done better.

When I was a teenager, my father would always tell me to slow down, to find balance in my activities. Because, I am one of these people that, once I start something for which I have motivation, go all in. I get consumed by it all. As a teenager, it could be a new boyfriend, a new movie which I loved (Titanic at 15? I watched it more than socially acceptable, and of course, got fed up in a couple of weeks. Now, I can't stand the soundtrack).
I think I went into the weight loss journey a little like that. I can spend long periods of time planning my meals, reading blogs for inspiration, trying to plan where in my day will I be able to fit in a workout. I'm afraid I will get tired of it. Go back to my old ways. This week, I longed for some time, quietly sitting reading a book, or in a cafe, working on my laptop. I felt like I did not have time to do that because I had to work out, or attend an evening meeting for my orchestra, or whatever. Today, despite the fact that I finished work early and did not have to meet my brother for dinner until 6pm, I decided not to workout. For my own sanity. I'm having a cup of tea while working on meeting reports for the orchestra (and maybe blogging a little too).

Love those earrings!

But on the other hand, I'm afraid that this means I'm slacking off. That it is my first step backwards. When I read other bloggers, they seem to be working out every single day! How can they fit that in their schedule? This baffles me. I'm trying to do a proper work out 3 times a week, and maybe a little yoga at home in between (but I'll admit yoga hasn't been a regular activity for a couple of weeks) and I could fit in a fourth. But that would mean dropping social activities, or giving up my responsibilities on the orchestra's Board. These are things I like and enjoy. Right now, I'm ok with working out, but I don't enjoy it (frankly, it can be hell). Maybe that means I'm not giving it a 100%. Maybe. I'm trying to convince myself I just need to find the proper balance for ME. Where I loose weight, get healthy in my body without loosing the health in my mind and relationships.

Keep On Keeping On

It was raining and cold today so I decided to go to the gym instead of running outside. I ran on the treadmill which for some reason is so much harder for me than running outside. I did intervalls, I don't think I could have run for 25 straight minutes on the treadmill, but I pushed my speed compared to what I do when running outside.
I also took the opportunity to sign up for a personal trainer. I think I'm getting near the point where I'll need someone to kick my behind a little (and someone to be accountable to) and I chose to start after my vacation in October (China!!), when I'll probably be out of the habit of working out per say, and it'll cold and most likely rainy here so it's not going to be as simple to get a run in my schedule.
The upcoming couple of weeks are also going to be a challenge to me: season premieres! Being an (hopefully ex) couch potato, there are a lot of shows I followed in the past seasons. Now I have to make choices (and maybe watch a couple of episodes online). Sigh. My life is hard (hahaha)

Just Because I'm Losing, Doesn't Mean I'm Lost

So I've been on this journey for almost two months now and I don't feel the difference. I know the numbers on the scale are going down, but after losing almost twenty pounds, I hoped it would show a little more on my body. I mean, I still wear the same size clothes (maybe more comfortably than I used to but still) and except from the comment my mother gave me a few weeks back, I haven't received any.
Don't get me wrong, I'm still thrilled about my improved fitness level (who would've thought, two months ago that I would be jogging three times a week! I hated jogging!) and when I pay attention, there are a few indications that my body is changing. At work, they ordered the wrong size for my labcoat when I was hired (a M instead of L). The buttons could barely close around my breast and now, it's still snug, but there's not that pulling that shows my shirt underneath. I was almost never wearing a skirt I loved because it would cut into my stomach when sitting down. I put it on Thursday and at the end of the day, I realized I was very comfortable in it. But my everyday jeans do not fall off my hips. After twenty pounds, I was really hoping to have dropped a size already. It's a bummer.

I Eat Dinner

I'm struggling to find balance in my eating habits. My plan was to stick to a 1300 cals diet (which is already very low from what I understand) but if I find that at the end of the day, I almost always wind up at about 1100. I do not plan on eating so little, I'm just not that hungry until like 4 pm. But when I get home from work, I'm starving. I guess I should eat snacks but I've never had the habit of it. So I usually eat a big meal when I get home, after working out. I need to work on that.
In other news, my Nike+ worked tonight!
See? Pretty graph! Me likey!

Video Killed the Radio Star

As I finished my run today, I looked at my iPod to see the stats my new Nike+ sensor collected and look at the data as I walked the few meters I still had left to get home. I was very annoyed to see that for the second time this week, it did not register my run at all! I really like the little graphs you get from this data and even if it is a little trivial, it's part of my motivation for a run: seeing the little graph going up and down and the cursor on the Nike site getting closer to the next level.

It got me thinking on how dependent on technology I've become. When I was cheering on my Dad and cousins at the Montreal Marathon on Sunday, my uncle pointed out the vast majority of runners who had iPods or MP3 players on them, running to music. He was surprised by it, he's been a runner for over 30 years (he didn't really run the marathon due to injury, but ran parts of it with our family members for support) and he's never run with music. I couldn't imagine going for a run without my iPod right now, but simply because of the voice telling me "run now" and "walk now" from the C25K app. I really rely on this to push me to run longer. I don't really notice the music (I couldn't name one song that came up on my run today), but I anticipate that voice!
How 'bout you? Are you technology-dependent?

Short And Sweet

First things first: the 20 minutes run is done! It wasn't as bad as I had expected which leads me to think I could run faster. I had planned to run today, but like usual on week days, after grocery shopping, preparing dinner, cleaning the cat's litter, I gave up on myself. I don't especially feel bad about it, I did do some yoga.
I still have to write up a meeting report and I'm giving a presentation rrrrreeeaaaalllly early tomorrow morning, so that's it for today!

Running To Standstill

I'm constantly surprised at what I can do physically if I put my mind to it. The problem is getting started. It's just always so tempting to just lay on the couch and watch TV or surf the net, I tend to give myself excuses (last night, it was a mild headache and the heat). But I went today. My program C25K (now at Week 5) said today was 2x8 minutes but I thought there was also a 5 minutes of running somewhere. So when it said "End of workout" I thought I had walked through a running section and since I wasn't home yet, I added about 5 more minutes. And to think I was absolutely convinced I couldn't do the 8 minutes run! This gives me a little more confidence for the next workout in the schedule: 20 minutes straight! (Seriously? From 8 minutes to 20 minutes? Are you kidding me?) Right now, running for 20 minutes seems like the most ridiculous thing to me but I've realized today that my body is a lot better than I give it credit for.
Tomorrow, I'll be cheering for my father and two cousins who are running the Montreal Marathon. My father is a runner and this will be something like his tenth marathon, but it's going to be the first for my two cousins. They started training soon after my uncle's passing and they dedicate this run to him. I really wish I could run with them but it is too soon, I don't feel ready. And, as I've said before, to me, part of my health journey is in his memory because he was the healthiest, most balanced person I've ever known. I miss him a lot.

Big Girls You Are Beautiful

I have a confession to make: I’m a fattist. I discriminate against fat people (although being fat myself). I make judgment calls, solely based on the fact that they’re overweight. For instance, if I see a girl, who is overweight, in a relationship with a relatively cute guy (or even just a guy who is of a healthy weight) I assume he’s a geek/stupid/a social outcast. Because, as sad and ashamed of myself this makes me, I think no guy in their right mind would go for a girl like that (read like me) when there is plenty of cute, regular sized girls. This, in part, explains why I have been single for so long. I simply can’t conceive that a guy which would interest me (funny, cultivated, balanced, confident) would be interested in a relationship with me. Even if I know that I’m worth anybody on the inside, I just believe that really, most guys enjoy having girls like me as friends, but would rather date cuter girls. I’ve had a lot of experiences to prove that to myself, unfortunately.

And guys who have been interested in me in the past? Well, let’s just say they generally display the “deal-breakers” too soon: in their thirties and daily playing Magic (the card game) or D&D. I’ve had lots of really good friends (and even had slight crushes) with similar interests. But I learned of their hobbies after I had known them for a while and I knew that was not all they were about. If the guy gets into this kind of subject in the first couple of hours, it seems like that’s pretty much all that’s going on in their lifes. And that’s, to me, a little sad. Hence my assumption that for a guy to be interested in a severely overweight girl, he must be either geek beyond all reason, a social outcast or simply a little dumb (and can’t get the good-looking girls who all go for the better-looking, more intelligent guys)

 

See? Not pretty. No wonder I’m single. And going for a run in the blistering heat.

The Heat Is On

Summer days in Montreal can range from a chilly, rainy day (although rarely, I'll admit) to am-I-in-a-freakin'-oven kinda hot. This week: oven. Plus, for some reason, it's very humid here, all year long. So I simply walked home from work (about 2K) and that's it. I can barely tolerate my laptop on my lap so even thinking of going for a run, I'm dehydrated.
So to cool myself off, I'll think of places I've visited that were also smoldering hot (so that you can have a good time even when melting on the pavement).
First, Rome. I visited last September and I was SO thankful for the abundance of free, cold water fountains! Also, not many trees to give a little shade. I would have been nice. But, hey! When in Rome... eat pasta, drink wine and enjoy! I sure did!

 Me, my double chin and Piazza Navona

In the more exotic destinations: Singapore. Gotta love tropical heat. And my mom who made me hike up the hill to this statue on my first day there, all jet-lagged and sweaty (which is the main reason this picture was taken from this safe distance: the armpit rings of sweat do not show as much!)

The Merlion, the embelm of Singapore (on the right :) )

In other news, down to 221 this week! Slowly but surely!